Did you ever try to swim to the bottom of a deep pool to pick something up? You’re swimming and swimming and you’re not there yet and there is pressure on your lungs and will you make it…..?
And you finally pop your head out of the water at what seems like the last possible minute?
And it’s such a relief.
What if you were underwater right now and only half knew it?
Swimming with desperation and pressure. Pushing, pushing, pushing.
What if there is air and it’s just seconds away?
Come dance with me.
Let’s dance in bare feet til we’re blistered.
Let’s run our hearts out around and around the room.
I’ll wrap a rolled towel around your waist and spin you to the point of terror. I’ve got you!
I’ll hold you.
Jump up and down.
We’ll breathe together. Softly.
Caress each other.
It’s all right here this thing.
There’s a risk bigger than you’ve ever taken.
Another side more beautiful than you ever thought.
A run that is faster.
An excitement more consuming.
A scream that is louder and longer.
A desire that quivers deeper.
An expression that goes far beyond shame.
Tears that cut you open.
And the feeling of another person’s body against yours over and over again.
And then when you are spent and lying on the ground you realize you are surrounded by others holding you, touching your feet, legs, belly, chest, arms, head, face.
You open your eyes and you see the lights in the room and then as you get used to the change you see loving eyes.
From every direction.
They’re still here.
You’re still here.
And there’s a relief that goes far beyond any anti-stress tools you’ve amassed.
An opening that cracks you further than you have been cracked before.
It hurts like fuck and yet you wouldn’t dream of going back.
And let’s do it together.
Full heart gratitude to my Radical Aliveness group for helping me wake up.